


The Chaos After You

by daggerlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Daycare, Angst, Bottom Harry, Bottom Louis, Daycare, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mentions of Prostitution, Smut, Top Harry, Top Louis
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-15
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-06-27 20:50:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 15,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15693144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daggerlarry/pseuds/daggerlarry
Summary: There is only one motivation for Louis to be stronger than he was yesterday - to provide a normal life for his siblings despite the absence of parents. He works exceptionally hard to stay afloat and sometimes he can barely hang on to the lifeboat.Harry works at a daycare centre for toddlers and when Louis stumbles in to the centre with a pair of twins clinging to him, all Harry wants to do is give him a better life too.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> DISCLAIMER: None of the events in this story are real, hence, fictional. I do not own any of the characters and neither do the characters in this fic depict their true nature in real life. 
> 
> I've had this idea in my head for a while and decided to pen it down but one paragraph turned into 28 paragraphs and now a whole chapter. Please feel free to leave any feedback, negative or positive, I'll take any and improve ! Thank you for stopping by and taking the time out of your day to give my work any ounce of attention ily

 

Eyes stinging with tiredness, Louis brings the empty cup to his lips. He doesn’t even notice when he sips air, too busy staring at the screen from behind his glasses.

In navy blue letters, the words _Little Sailors Daycare_ stares back at him.

So far, he’s read 87 reviews on 6 different daycares around the area, mostly cheerily positive, but not good enough. Louis wants the best, he doesn’t care if that means working extra shifts cleaning after snobby rich people for it.

_At Little Sailors Daycare, we are committed to an entirely secure and fun learning environment, embodying the importance of all areas of your child’s development. Our utmost priority is to ensure that every child receives the best experience, not just through learning alongside our best quality teachers but by also providing comfort to your child, where they are heard, understood and feel important. With every effort, we strive to develop an open and supportive relationship between parents and guardians to steer our children across a smooth-sailing learning journey._

Louis has read this five times over, making comparisons with the other daycare centres he has on open tabs. They all sound the bloody same. _We support your child to the fullest!, we provide the BEST, your child will have the most FUN in our centre._ Louis thinks they’re all full of shit. Even this one. Except, he slightly appreciates the nautical puns that sounds like they’ve been written by a middle aged woman who thinks she’s funny. Still, Louis thinks it’s slightly refreshing from reading stale paragraphs of what a bunch of child-care qualified adults can offer.

Over a week has passed since the idea of enrolling Doris and Ernest into a childcare became less frightening ever since Liam suggested it. Usually Liam has stupid ideas. Louis never indulges in them unless he has the same idea, which then of course isn’t stupid. Doris and Ernest are his youngest siblings among the lot, they’re only three, basically toddlers, and Louis will singlehandedly strangle himself to death if anything happens to them.

When Louis became busier with work and extra shifts and dealing with money, Liam stepped in to watch over the little ones, making sure Louis’ home doesn’t burn down and helping the girls with their homework. It took a significant amount of weight off Louis’ shoulders and he’s so grateful for Liam, but he never says that out loud, in case it goes to Liam’s head.

But now, Liam’s got that new job offer at Oxford to teach engineering science of all things. Louis knows Liam’s bloody smart, so he’s incredibly happy for him for landing this job. He’s also conflicted because now Louis’ back at square one.

Sighing deeply through his nose, Louis shuts his laptop down after making a mental note to visit the centre on Monday before it opens at 7am. That leaves him with about two hours of sleep, not for the first time this week.

He rests his head on the back of the couch and shuts his eyes.

He calculates the bills and school fees and grocery money behind his lids. Calculates work hours and shifts and gas for his car, does mental sums of how much they’ve got to save this month to last them the next.

Small footsteps creaking on the wooden floorboard snaps his mind awake. He opens his eyes to see Lottie, the oldest among his younger siblings, tiptoe towards him.

“You’re up again,” she sighs quietly as she sinks down next to him.

“Can’t sleep,” Louis says, cuddling up next to her, “why’re you up?”

“Can’t sleep either.” There is a beat of silence where the world stills, and for a moment so did Louis’ mind from the tiredness.

“Lou?”

“Hm?”

“You don’t have to work so hard.”

Louis looks down at his sister, watching her staring at the black TV screen ahead of them, mind somewhere else but her fingers slip between Louis’, holding onto him.

Louis doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t want to start another ridiculous argument about who’s going to pay the bills then? Who’s going to feed seven mouths? Who’s going to fund their education?

He tries to handle all of it on his own, never discussing financial burden with any of his siblings. But Lottie notices. She notices all the time, how he’s slipping in through the door in the early hours after work, how he’s downing four cups of tea a few hours later for his next shift, how he’s falling asleep in the shower.She doesn’t say anything and helps around the house as much as she can while still going to college and he’s infinitely thankful for her.

She’s already snoring lightly against his shoulder before he could respond. So he stops his mind from bringing up other events of his problematic life and forces himself to get some sleep.

-

The little bell chimes when the door opens, followed by screeching and crying and hushing. Harry brushes off granola bits and smooths his pink sweater down before hurrying into the lounge area. He supposes his choice of colour scheme in fashion would make the children more welcome on their first day back at daycare, or first day for new comers. Harry would rather step on fifty Lego bricks than to watch a scared child cry when they come to his favourite place on Earth.

He had woken up an hour before his alarm even went off, too jittery with nerves to get at least a whole four hours of sleep. But he couldn’t worry about that when eighty different ways of how the first day back at Little Sailors Daycare could go wrong had clogged up his brain. 

He had brought along Loki, his Australian Shepherd for the children. Loki is a certified therapy dog that Harry hopes could provide comfort and joy for those kids who need a little more time socialising or getting used to a new environment. Although Claire and Sara would be there to help him out, he knows children would often feel more comfortable interacting with animals, especially dogs, than with adults. 

At six thirty in the morning, one would think that having to deal with inconsolable toddlers at this hour would be a nightmare, but Harry’s face lights up when he sees a girl with messy pig tails bawling in a man’s arm while a boy holds onto his free hand with his eyes half closed, as if just roused from sleep. Loki sits patiently by the counter, body shaking with excitement but knows he can’t greet the new customers yet, in case they’re not keen on dogs.

  
“Please, don’t cry. I’ll be back before you know it! We can even go for ice cream after, yeah?” The man consoles the little girl in his arms, hushed and gentle.

Before Harry could step forward to assist this man, the boy’s eyes widened upon seeing Loki, “hello there,” he tells Loki quietly, then turns to tug at the man’s shirt, “Louis, there’s a gog!”

The man, Louis, chuckles, “a dog, you mean.”

“Dog. Can I go pet him?”

The girl then squeaks, asking if she can go pet the dog as well, her tears now subsiding.

Louis smiles and puts her down, “you have to ask first, loves. Remember what I told you about going round petting dogs without asking.”

Harry’s cheeks hurt from smiling. This conversation is too precious for his heart to consume at this time in the morning.

The little boy turns to Harry, looking up at him with big eyes as he crosses his hands behind his back, “could we pet your gog, pwease?”

“Of course you can, darlings,” Harry tells them. He calls Loki over, and a blur of fur barrels into the two children who shriek excitedly Harry notices they appear to be twins and he tries to contain himself. Twins are his favourite.

“Be gentle now, please. I don’t want to get arrested with animal abuse.” Louis says, watching them fondly.

“Don’t worry,they’re in good hands.”

Now with Harry’s attention on him, he finds himself unable to look away.

The first thing Harry notices is his eyes, how blue they are. Not alike those that are sickeningly piercing and may sometimes be overwhelming, but a soft blue hue that are strangely calming. Like the blue-grey sky before a storm. Harry imagines how bright they’d be if he didn’t stare back at him void of emotion. Louis is also swallowed in an old adidas tracksuit that hides his little hands, and tattered jeans that has too many holes in them. He looks worn out, like a "welcome home!" rug that has been at the doorstep forever, with dirt being rubbed off the soles of shoes on before entering the house. Still, Harry thinks he's the most stunning person he’s ever seen.

Harry realizes that drafting out wedding plans in his head and gaping at a customer is slightly unprofessional- _definitely_ unprofessional, and he likes to make good first impressions, so he recollects himself in time to process that Louis is talking to him.

“So sorry to come in this early. I’m Louis, by the way, and that’s Doris and Ernest. Nice to meet you.”

Harry feels himself smile, “lovely to meet you too.I’m Harry, and It’s no problem at all, anyone’s always welcome.”

The tension in Louis’ shoulders visibly ease, that’s a good sign. So Harry continues, ”It’s actually the first week of the semester, so we’ll be seeing lots of new comers, not to worry. Your children seem really lovely, I’m sure they’ll fit right in.”

Louis laughs quietly and shakes his head, “they’re not my children. My youngest siblings, actually. Just doing the big brother duties.’

Despite the embarrassment, Harry ticks a check box in his head for _possibly unmarried_. “Oh, I’m sorry. They’re really lucky to have such a responsible brother like yourself.”

“Nah, mate. I can barely do a proper fry up for them without breaking the pan. Breaking the pan, honestly?”

“Well, at least you tried, s’what matters isn’t it,” Harry watches him with an amused tilt in his smile.

Louis doesn’t respond, just shoves his tiny hands into his pockets. Before it gets awkward and Harry has another urge to wrap Louis up and ask him how he likes his tea, he clears his throat, “so, would you mind filling up some particulars for us?”

Harry then leads Louis to the blue couches where he explains everything Louis needs to know about the daycare while Louis fills up forms. Harry tries not to watch Louis’ eyelashes brush the soft skin of his cheekbones while his eyes scan the pages.

“We have lots of activities prepared everyday, with each teacher assigned to about three students or less, so your c- um, Doris and Ernest can have the best care. Here’s a rough schedule of what happens during the day.”

Harry hands Louis a baby blue pamphlet decorated with white nautical themed patterns around a list of black text.

 

Little Sailors Daycare

7:00am-8:00am: Parent hand off/ Settle-in and Welcome

8:00am-8:30am: Breakfast

8:30am-9:30am: Free play with friends

9:30am-10:00am: Outdoor fun (weather permitting)

10:00am-11:00am: Break and Circle time (Choice of Activity)

11:00am-12:00pm: Wash up and Lunch time

12:00pm-2:00pm: Nap time/ Quiet play time

2:00pm-2:30pm: Afternoon snack/ Play time

2:30pm-3:30pm: Craft / Story time

3:30pm-4:00pm: Outdoor fun (weather permitting)

4:00p-5:30pm: Play / Movie time

5:30pm-6:00pm: Get ready to go home for the day

 

“You can keep that, of course.” Of course. Informative pamphlets are for keeping. As if Louis is an idiot, honestly.

Louis seems unfazed by Harry’s lack of functioning brain cells, “So do we start today? I mean, I don’t exactly know how these things work, is it like enrolling into a school?”

Harry wants to sit and trace the veins on his tiny hands for a few hours. “We don’t start straight away. There will be a day of trying things out, seeing if Doris and Ernest like the environment and are comfortable with the schedule. Some parents go up to a week of trial but it all really depends on the child. We don’t want to rush the process and stress them out.”

“Fair enough,” Louis says, “I think we can try for the day. I really hope they get along with the other kids and not kill them. Don’t want parents coming for my head.”

Harry chuckles quietly and they turn to watch the twins give Loki a belly rub. Thankfully, Mondays are slow days and there’s no one coming in yet.

“They look like they can barely harm a fly,” Harry says.

Before Louis could answer, his phone buzzes. He pulls it out and curses, scrambling up from his seat,” sorry, I really have to get to work. I guess I’ll make payment when I pick them up in the evening?”

Harry nods, “that’s fine. We’ll inform you if anything happens and you can always call in if you have any enquires.”

“Right. Thank you.”

Then, Harry watches Louis give the twins hugs, exchanging hushed promises and peppering kisses on their cheeks. Harry isn’t sure how his smile can grow any bigger. 

“Bye Harry.” Louis waves.

Harry waves back, his gaze following where Louis slips out the door into the freezing weather. He feels his cheeks heat despite the nippy wind sneaking its way in.

The doorbell chimes again to invite a screaming little boy and a distressed mother in. It’s a good start to the semester, Harry decides.

 

Closing time meant a whirl of chaos but less than that of mornings; mismatched socks, making sure nothing, or no one, important is left behind such as discarded stuffed animals and imaginary friends.

"You'll see your friends again tomorrow, Tommy. Be a good boy and say goodbye now.”

Tommy rubs his glassy eyes with a clenched little fist, the other hand clutching a stuffed penguin. “Bye teacher Harry, see you tomorrow.”

Harry beams at him, squatting down to Tommy’s height to give him a hug, “bye Tommy. Listen to your mother yeah? See you tomorrow love. See you tomorrow Mrs Calvert, have a good evening.”

Mrs Calvert blushes, pulling at Tommy’s hand. “Thank you, you too dear”.

Harry turns back to assist children into their boots and coats while waiting for their parents to arrive. Some are crying harder than they did when they came in this morning, some are still taking toys out, one of the new kids just had a wee in her pants. At least none of them had thrown up on the sponge mats.

He’s too busy making sure everyone’s got the right outerwear on and if they’ve taken their belongings that he doesn’t even notice Louis walking in despite the chime.

If Louis looked tired before, his red-rimmed eyes screams exhaustion now, as if he had been crying right before he stepped into the centre. He’s now wearing a clean white jumper, a loose navy jacket and fitted jeans.

The contrast is visible in they way Louis’ eyes light up when he sees the two bundled up twins bounding over to him. Whatever he may be going though, the twins clearly change that and even though Harry barely even knows this family, he feels his heart tug weakly at the whole idea.

Louis smiles teasingly at Ernest, who is rambling on about how he made a new friend.“Sounds great, Ernie. Wait, have you got chocolate in your teeth or something?”

Harry tries to hide his own smile as he turns back to help Sara with the last pair of kids. He does a quick job at it, in hopes of getting to speak to Louis before they leave. It’s work related. Not that Harry’s obsessive.

Once the lounge area is relatively silent from all the bustling, Harry sees Louis and the twins walk up to him with Loki trailing close behind, picking up crumbs from Doris’ biscuit.

“Thank you for today, pretty sure they don’t ever want to leave this place now,” Louis tells Harry.

“I’m guessing I’ll see you here more often then?” Harry grins in response. He definitely didn’t intend for it to come off more eager than it sounded in his head.

“Depends,” Louis shrugs, “will your dog be around?”

This time, Harry raises his eyebrows, “Everyday.”  
  
“Sign me up, then.”

Harry isn’t sure whether to choke on the fond stuck in his throat or be offended that this gorgeous man is only here for his dog. He may only be teasing but it also means Harry needs to switch tactics.

For now, Harry can just enjoy Louis’ presence. He allows himself a fraction of a second to memorise the single freckle on the left side of Louis’ nose before the information of Louis wanting to sign up goes through his brain and he sets off looking for the full sign up sheet.

It’s quiet now, just like how it was earlier in the morning. Louis sits on the blue couches just like he had done before, this time with each twin dozing off on either side of him. Loki lays down by their feet.

Harry brings the clipboard and a pen to Louis, careful not to stumble over Loki’s tail with his two left feet. With Louis around, Harry may as well not have any toes from how hard he has to focus on not falling flat on his nose and embarrass himself.

“Sorry, there’s a lot of paperwork.” Harry explains.

Louis looks up from ticking boxes, “don’t know why you have to be sorry for that.”

“I know how much of a pain paperwork can be,” Harry shrugs.

Louis just shakes his head before ticking more boxes with a faint smile on his face. Once he’s scribbled his signature at the bottom of the page, he hands the clipboard back to Harry. “Thank you,” Louis says.

There is a smiley face next to Louis’ name. Harry stores this adorable information somewhere in his head.

Louis stands up slowly, gently shaking Doris and Ernest awake. “Time to go home now, kiddos. We can have a proper sleep then.”

While this is happening, the bell chimes and Sara’s voice calls out to the both of them.

“Bye loves, see you tomorrow! Louis, pleasure meeting you!”

Louis turns and waves, “bye Sara, bye Claire! Lovely meeting you both, thank you for taking care of these devils.”

Claire laughs, “not a problem, dear.”

“See you H.” Sara eyes Harry knowingly before the door closes behind the two. What was that even about.

“S’pose I should make a move as well,” Louis says, “don’t want to hold you up.”

Harry shakes his head vigorously, “not at all. A whole season of love island can wait.”

 

Louis chuckles, a soft sound, “gotta go get ready for my night shift anyway.”

Harry raises his eyebrows, “you have work again?”

The smile slips off Louis’ face and his shoulders tense. Shit. Harry mentally pinches himself hard for the way he made Louis feel even slightly uncomfortable. “Sorry,” Harry says instantly, “that’s none of my business, you don’t have to answer that.”

He’s gone and fucked it all up now. Louis’ never going to come back and then Harry has to deal with not looking forward to anything for the rest of his working days. Sara and Claire would tease him like they always do when Harry finds someone he’s interested in and offer him comforting hugs when they realize it’s all over within a day.

“It’s okay,” Louis settles on saying, “see you tomorrow, then. Thank you again for today.”

Harry smiles gently in return, “have a safe journey home.”

Louis’ smile is tight but not forced.

And then they’re gone and Harry is nudged out of his daze by Loki’s nose telling him it’s time to go.

 

This goes on for the next five weeks.

Since the first day, Harry made zero point two percent progress in trying to decode Louis Tomlinson, or if he’s even into men or not. 

Louis would come shuffling in every morning holding each twin in each hand. He’d tell them to have a good day and plant kisses on their heads and Harry would try not to watch and be creepy. Louis’d say a brief hello to Harry and hurry off. Every day, Harry would just have to deal with it. 

They barely spoke to each other. In the evening, Harry would usually be busy doing the cleaning up with Claire when Louis comes to collect the twins. He’d chat to Sara, then, getting updates on the twins and he’d leave not long after. He must be rushing to whatever job he has. Harry doesn’t think about it too much. 

Something doesn’t seem right today, however. 

It’s been almost an hour since the entrance door last closed to send a parent and their child off and there’s no sign of Louis at all.

He was never late. In fact, he would be at least twenty minutes early, without a fail. The snow doesn’t seem to be that heavy and the weather forecast should be clear tonight, so it mustn’t been because of the journey that is delaying him.

“Do you think he’d have forgotten about us?” Ernest asks sleepily on the couch where they’re petting Loki. It’s just them and Harry in the quiet lounge room. 

Doris shrugs,”Lou would never do that.”

“What if he does, though? He would be here by now if he haven't” Ernest wonders back. 

That seems to set Doris off, because her bottom lip wobbles and her eyes turn glassy. Harry rushes over from where he’s been putting books back into shelves and picks her up so he could sit down with her on his lap. “He’d be here soon, loves. Has he ever left you behind?” 

Ernest shakes his head, “what if a snow monster eated him up!”

“Ate is the past tense of eat, not eated,” Harry tells him.

“Ate.”

“Snow monsters aren’t even real, Ernie” Doris piped up. 

“Fairies aren’t even real.” 

While the twins are occupied with debating the existence of mythical creatures, Harry dials Louis’ number for the sixth time. He can’t help but feel worried. He feels a sinking feeling in his stomach when it goes straight to voicemail again. He knows he shouldn’t be fretting, there’s definitely a reason why Louis isn’t showing up and it’s probably none of Harry’s business but he just can’t help but thinking the worst. 

Before Harry could call him again, Louis stumbles in along with the wind. 

“Lou!” The twins shriek, running over to Louis who looks like he’s out of breath. 

“Hey, kiddos. I’m sorry I’m late, we can go for ice cream later to make up for it, yeah?” 

“We're just happy a snow monster didn’t eat you, Lou,” Ernest tells him while hugging his leg. 

Louis chuckles lightly and looks up at Harry, “i’m really sorry I’ve been holding you up. Kinda feels like deja vu, doesn’t it."

“And if I remember correctly from this deja vu, I also said our doors are always open anytime.” 

“So you’re still not missing out on Love Island?” 

Harry lights up, he didn’t expect Louis to even remember the stupid fact that Harry watches a trashy reality show, “I would rather spend my time waiting for you with the twins than watch straight people start riots on an island if I’m honest.”

By the time the words are even processed in Harry's brain he realizes what he just said. _I would rather spend my time waiting for you_. As if this is some sort of proposal. At least Harry’s sexuality is out in the open.

Louis doesn’t even seem fazed, thank fuck, because Harry doesn’t think he wants to have the “yeah I like dick” conversation right now. 

“Well, I’ll take these two off your hands so you can go back to drinking in the drama on that rubbish tv.” 

“Hey! It’s actually not that bad when you get into it.” 

“What? Watching a bunch of people fight over men and women entertains you?” the corner of Louis’ mouth twitches into a smile. He looks happier, a little colour tinging his cheeks. 

“I think people trying to find love in a confined place where you're constantly being thrown into tests is interesting. Except when they’re objectifying each other, that’s when it becomes hard to watch."

“You make it sound like it’s a best-seller novel. Suppose you have to show me whats all the fuss about one day, then."

“Suppose I will,” Harry grins. He can’t even believe this is the longest conversation they’ve had and it's about fucking Love Island of all things.

When they leave and Harry locks up, he sits in his car with Loki for a while, thinking about the crinkly lines by Louis’ eyes when he smiles at the twins. They are clearly the highlights of his day and Harry adores that. How Louis seems to love children as much as Harry does.

Harry starts driving down the quiet street with the music from his iPod playing in the car. It’s already dark, only street lamps and neighbourhood house lights illuminate the stretch of road.

As he nears the bus stop, he sees Louis and the twins sitting there alone. Harry wonders if they’ve been taking the bus all this while.

Harry makes sure the lane is clear of any incoming buses and comes to a stop in front of them, rolling the window down.

“You’ll all become snowmen by the time the next bus arrives,” Harry shivers when the cold air fills the car, “get in.”

Doris and Ernest perks up, but before they could hop off the seat, Louis stops them. “It’s fine, Harry. Our house is quite a while away.”

“All the more you shouldn’t wait for the bus, then. Come on in, the heater will warm you up.”

“Please lou? Cold,” Doris takes one of his hands and presses her nose to his arm. Louis still seems hesitant, but the twins’ lips are turning blue so he quickly ushers them into the back seat.

They snuggle up to Loki for warmth and Harry increases the heater while Louis climbs into the passenger seat and tells Harry their street name.

Harry starts the car, “do you take the bus everyday?”

“Yeah, that’s why I come early to pick them up so we don’t have to deal with peak hour.” Louis sighs, “we can’t afford a car right now.”

“I can drive you,” Harry shrugs, “if you don’t mind waiting a little.”

Louis blinks at him, “I would not ask that of you.”

“Well, _I’m_ asking. You’ll be home faster than taking the bus.”

“I- I’ll pay you extra.”

Harry shakes his head, “I don’t need money. I’m just making an excuse to see these two a little longer, “ he jokes, hoping to defuse the hesitance in Louis’ tone.

Harry sees Louis smile at the corner of his eye. Once they reach the main road, Harry gets directions from Louis.

“So how long have you been working here?” Louis asks after a while.

“Almost three years now,” Harry replies easily.

“Three years?” Louis asks in confusion, “you don’t seem to be that far my age.”

“I didn’t go to college, “ Harry shrugs, but instantly regrets it. Because what if Louis didn’t want someone who didn’t have the degree qualifications to take care of his siblings?

“I didn’t either,” he hears Louis say softly, “how did you manage anyway?”

Harry looks at Louis briefly, “Sara’s boyfriend and I were in a band together back when I had just finished my A levels and was still trying to make a living through busking and playing gigs. I was really struggling though, so she offered me a job at her daycare, and I enjoy it a lot. When the kids look at you like you have all the answers and rely on you to give them the best, it’s the best feeling ever. To be able to make a difference in their lives everyday, that would eventually impact their growth one way or another, d’you know what I mean?”

“Yeah,” Louis hums, almost to himself.

“So, what about you then?” Harry asks carefully, wary of the last time.

“Um, I have two jobs,” Louis clears his throat, “retail and stuff. Not that interesting.”

“I’m sure you have plenty of stories about ridiculous customers.”

Louis just shrugs and doesn’t look like he’s going to elaborate. They continue their journey without anymore questions, although Harry wanted to find out more about the man sitting next to him. It doesn’t seem like the right time.

The car makes a left turn into a quiet neighbourhood that has barely any street lamps. In the dim light, Harry can make out narrow pavements littered with cigarette buds and glass, rubbish everywhere. Kids are playing basketball on the road, not even bothering to dodge the car passing by. Harry hopes they just have to pass this neighbourhood to Louis’ house and not stop at one of them.

He can sense Louis shifting uncomfortably in the passenger seat as they go deeper into the neighbourhood, which is not any better. Groups of teenagers huddle up in front of porches to share pot, one or two in the middle of a fight, and Harry almost sent his car spiralling when a woman appears out of nowhere with a bat in her hand, shouting at the foreign car in their street.

“I’m so sorry,” Louis gasps, “you can just drop us off here.”

“In the middle of all this?? Absolutely not. Now what’s your house number again?”

“Harry, please.” Louis grips his left wrist in panic, “we’ve been through here everyday. Please don’t say no before they start throwing bricks at your car.”

Harry bites his lip, not wanting to break his trust but also not wanting to just leave them here where they could be attacked right after Harry’s car turns the corner. “I might as well end my career if I let two innocent children walk down a street filled with teenagers like these.”

Louis sighs heavily but instructs Harry to drive down until they come to a stop in front of a small two storied house.

“Thank you so much, Harry,” Louis says, already reaching for the door handle.

“That’s alright,” Harry smiles as he climbs out of the car as well to help the twins out, “six thirty tomorrow?”

“You’ve already done a lot-“

“Six thirty it is then.” Harry chuckles when Louis sighs in defeat but with a smile on his face.

Harry sits back in his car and waits. He makes sure they make it to the front door and Louis turns briefly as if not expecting Harry to still be there. He lifts his hand to give a tiny wave and Ernest does the same. Harry waves back, and waits until the door shuts before starting his car.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The black Bentley sits outside the Tomlinson household at six fifteen sharp.

 Harry turns up the heater to allow the interior of his car to fill with warm air.

 He’s been awake since five am, and he would argue with his flatmate Niall that it’s not because he’s worried of being late to pick up the kids, he’s just an early riser. Harry is very much a morning person.

 Driving into the neighbourhood is not as horrific as the previous night. Harry barely dodged running over a lady smoking on a bike. Loki seems to enjoy barking at every strange looking person they pass by.

 The Australian shepherd has settled down since then, but his entire body shakes with how hard his tail wags when he sees the porch lights turn on at the Tomlinson house. Harry looks up from reading messages on his phone to see Louis carrying one twin in each arm.

 Harry winds the window down from the passenger seat and Loki leaps out, barrelling up the walkway to greet them hello.

 “Hello, boy, morning to you too,” Harry hears Louis say cheerily and let’s the twins down to pet him.

 Doris and Ernest scramble to hug the furry ball of excitement, “morning Loki!”

 A girl with her platinum blonde hair in a bun appears at the doorstep to see what the commotion is about. Harry recognises her as one of the many Tomlinson siblings, from what the twins have told him before, but has no clue to which one. From a distance, Harry couldn’t make out her features, only that she is tall, about Louis’ height. She must be the eldest of Louis’ six younger siblings, Charlotte.

Harry watches the girl give the twins kisses on their forehead before Louis takes them by the hand to walk down to Harry’s car. Harry climbs out to help settle the kids in.

 “Morning, Harry,” Louis smiles in greeting, cheeks pink from the cold.

 “Morning,” Harry replies, almost breathless, “slept well?” he shuts the door once Loki gets in the back with Doris and Ernest to keep out from the chilly morning air.

 “Had better nights,” Louis says, “you?”

 “Could be better,” Harry replies. He hopes Louis knows what he means.

 “Clearly managed to avoid Mrs Norris’ bat, I see.” Louis raises his eyebrow and pretends to inspect the car windows for scratches.

 Harry snorts, “almost ran down a woman on a bike though.”

 “Was she in an ugly red coat?”

"Yeah, you know her?”

 “Everyone in this area does. She hosts weekly book clubs but they’re really an excuse for her and her attendees to dish the dirt about every family who lives here. Shame you didn’t knock her over, could’ve done the whole neighbourhood a favour.”

 Harry’s mouth gapes open and Louis laughs right at him, bursts of delighted sounds filling Harry’s ears.

 “I’m obviously kidding! Jesus, Harold, I’m not a sadist.”

 The corners of Harry’s mouth pulls up into a smile on its own, “thought I have to make arrangements for you to be babysat instead. Can’t have that cynical mind running the streets.”

 “The only babysitting you need to do is for these kids and the thirteen others who will wonder why their favourite teacher is late if you don’t get going.”

 Harry has never seen Louis like this, more energised, cheeky. Harry wants to kiss him, but before he could do the regrettable, he asks, “where’re you headed? I can drive you there.”

 Louis shakes his head, “don’t have work today. I still have to get the other girls ready for school. I trust Doris and Ernie are in safe hands?”

 “Safest you’ll ever get.”

 “Certainly proved it by skilfully avoiding getting this vintage beauty dented in this street,” Louis taps the hood of the car lightly, “see you at seven then?”

 “Seven,” Harry nods, “have a good day, Louis.”

 “You too,” Louis says when Harry settles into the drivers seat. Like yesterday, he makes sure Louis reaches his front door where his sister has been watching, arms folded and leaning against the doorframe. Louis tuns back, like he did yesterday, and gives a tiny wave. The twins wave enthusiastically and Harry gives a tiny wave back. If this is what he has to deal with every morning from now on, he wouldn’t mind waking up earlier for it.

 .

 Louis leans his back against the closed door, facing Lottie. The expression on her face is unreadable- dubious, indignant maybe.

 “What?” Louis asks.

 She raises an eyebrow, “so you’re just handing my brother and sister off to some stranger? Without even letting me know?”

 “First of all,” Louis says, “that’s Harry, he teaches at the daycare and yes I trust him with them. Second, they’re my siblings too.”

 “And so am I. I can’t see why you failed to share this information with me. How do you even know to trust him?”

 “Because he hasn’t given me a reason not to,” Louis says quietly, he doesn’t even know why he trusts Harry himself. Even after what he had been through.

 “Even after what you’ve been through?”Lottie voices out his exact thought.

 Negative thoughts start crawling into his brain. What if Harry is a kidnapper who uses his cherub-like good looks to lure gullible idiots like Louis? He made sure Harry would leave him a text once they reach the centre safely. Only five minutes has passed and he’s already starting to get paranoid.

 Louis always makes impulsive decisions even though he knows the outcome would leave shards in his heart. He never learns. Trusts people too easily. The reason behind their current lifestyle is all his due to his incapability to make responsible decisions and it’s all his fault, no matter what his sisters say, he knows it is. Louis is desperately trying to fix everything all on his own and sometimes he acts before he thinks. He acts and neglects the chances of consequences and then he tries to fix that too.

 Lottie is the real adult in this household. More logical, more responsible, more reliable.

 “Remind me why I don’t consult you before making rash decisions again?”

 “Because you’re my dumb older brother who needs a healthy amount of sleep to have a functioning brain. Which clearly, you don’t.” And straight to the point.

 “Cheers. I feel tons better.”

Lottie pets his shoulders in an attempt to show her sympathy before heading upstairs to get ready for university, leaving Louis alone with his thoughts.

 He isn’t sure how long he remains leaning against the door for, reevaluating his life choices, but at some point he gets up to finish preparing lunch for his other younger sisters to take to school for the day.

 As he lays out cheese on bread, he tries to come up with any signs he has noticed about Harry that eludes to him being a kidnapper or a serial killer. Once, Louis saw Harry place two teddy bears next to each other and turned to tell Doris that they won’t be lonely if they have each other for the night after closing time. Certainly no murdering tendency there.

 A ping sounds through the clustered kitchen, startling Louis. He snatches his phone off the counter with crummy hands.

 

**Little Sailors Harry**

**_We’ve arrived without a scratchhh_ **

********

********

 

 Louis finds himself smiling at the smiley face and two baby emojis tacked to the end of the text.

 

_not even any hair pulling?  :)_

**_Loki may have shed one piece of fur on my leather seats though maybe no pulling was involved_ **

********

********

 Louis snorts to the empty kitchen.

 “Who’re you fighting?”

 Louis turns his head to see Phoebe, one of his younger sisters, standing in the doorway with a hairbrush in her hand. Her twin, Daisy, follows in after her. The twin gene in this family runs strongly.

 “I’m not fighting anyone.”

 “That’s the face you make when you think someone did something stupid.”

 “No, that’s the face he makes when he’s talking to a cute boy,” Daisy chimes in.

 “That’s the face I make when it’s none of your business,” Louis says, “sit down if you want your hair braided.” He is a fantastic hairdresser.

 Phoebe and Daisy sit at the table while Louis washes his hands.

 “So I’m right?” Daisy asks.

 “No.”

 “Then who is it? Liam?” Phoebe pipes up, “I miss Liam. He makes good grilled cheese sandwiches.”

 “You’re comparing your brother’s grilled cheese sandwiches with Liam’s while your hair is in my hands?” He makes the best grilled cheese (when the bread isn’t burnt). Louis is both a hairdresser and a cook.

 “I know!” Daisy exclaims, “it’s the boy from yesterday! He had curly hair.”

 Louis wonders when his teenage sisters have started becoming this nosy. “If you keep trying to guess who it is your hair will be braid-less. And you’ll miss the school bus.”

 As he says this, he finishes Daisy’s braid with a blue bow, a yellow one for Phoebe.

 Lunches packed, all the girls off to get an education, dishes washed, Louis finally has time to himself.

 After a quick shower, he thinks he might take a small nap as it is only half to nine, but he finds himself on his phone.

 Harry has sent him another text, an imagine of Doris and Ernie sharing baby carrots with their friends.

 A text follows underneath it, _behind the scenes of all that energy_ \- _starting the day with a healthy breakfast :)_

 Louis would normally receive updates about daycare related things from Sara, mostly professional emails about payment transactions or from the Little Sailors Daycare newsletter he subscribes to. Not any via text. Not even live photo updates that he’ll only find on their Instagram page.

 This is an exclusive content, shared by Harry to Louis specifically. Without Louis asking, without any reason whatsoever. It’s just Harry thinking it would be nice to send Louis a live picture of two of the most important people in his life being in a safe place and that Louis has nothing to worry about.

 Louis thumbs out a reply:

  _teaching them the true value of sharing is caring I see !_

 It barely takes two seconds before Harry’s response comes in.

 

**_don’t have to teach what they already know! their big brother must be a perfect role model_ **

********

********

 

_maybe they just want to impress their favourite teacher_

 

**_maybe they’re naturally polite. Must be something in the tomlinson siblings genes_ **

********

********

 

_can’t say there is complete accuracy in your scientific discovery, mate. Maybe take me out of the equation?_

 

Harry seems to have gone offline, so Louis lays down on the couch with a cushion pillowing his head.

 The previous night had been rough. Both metaphorically and physically. Louis works three jobs, two day time and one night time. While he alternates between working at Tesco and at a French restaurant every other day, his night job at a sleazy club in the Red Light District takes up every night, except when he has off days.

 None of his siblings know about his night time occupation, Louis is determined to keep it that way for their sake. They think he just works extra shifts at the restaurant or at Tesco after he settles their dinner and cleans up a little at home. By the time he comes back during the early hours, they’ll be asleep.

 Sometimes, Lottie or his second oldest sister, Fizzy, catch bruises on his neck and arms but Louis has mastered the art of hiding them with concealer well enough to make his sisters think they’re just bug bites or a result of his clumsiness.

 He had a hard time covering them up last night, however, spending almost an hour trying to conceal the ugly purple fingerprint marks on his hips. Though his skin won’t show, Louis still wants to hide that part of himself and pretend his job didn’t exist during the day.

 Thankfully, he was informed by his boss at Tesco that he would not have to go to work for a while due to a plumbing issue and the store was under maintenance until further notice. Louis was not under paid leave, but at least he could take a few days rest. He was so relieved to hear the news that he was all smiles when he picked the twins up from daycare yesterday.

 And Harry. Sweet Harry, who, out of the kindness of his heart, offered to take them home. Louis doesn’t even know what he did to deserve help from someone like Harry. To Harry, it may be a small favour. But to Louis, it means being able to squeeze in an extra few minutes of sleep and he’s grateful for that.

 He had barely acknowledged Harry in the past month and a half, always in a hurry to get to his next job, always out of breath and always running. Both towards and from something. Louis is glad he got to properly speak to Harry, the man who has been spending time with his two youngest siblings when he couldn’t.

 Maybe in an ideal world, where Louis isn’t struggling with three jobs, he would’ve approached Harry differently. Maybe where he isn’t so bone tired most of the time, so busy, he would love to get to know Harry.

 He eventually falls asleep like that, thinking about kind green eyes and a gentle smile.

 At the front door, an envelope with a yellow stamp slips through the gap underneath.

 

.

 

“Please play baby shark one more time!”

 “Anna, baby shark has to go to bed and so do you. It’s nap time.” Harry draws the thin blue curtains, bathing the room in slight darkness.

 Blankets and cushions lay out in three rows of five in the middle of the playroom on the carpeted floor, all fifteen toddlers snuggle up beneath soft animal printed covers.

 “Are you gonna nap too, teacher Harry?” Anna asks in the middle of a yawn.

 “Teacher Harry never sleeps,” Doris murmurs beside her, “he was at our house super early. He must be there the whole night.”

 Harry thinks she must have read his mind, because that was his exact consideration the day before.

 “Why was teacher Harry at your house?”

 Harry clears his throat before they could discuss this any further and possibly ruin his career for coming across like an absolute stalker, “anyone who doesn’t have their eyes closed in the next second you’ll stay indoors the next time we have playtime outside.”

 The two girls squeak in horror, immediately shutting their eyes to try their best not to jeopardize their very important outdoor playtime.

 Claire turns on Disney lullabies and sets it to turn off at 1:15pm. Personally, every time they play Disney lullabies it could knock Harry right off to sleep. He could pull out a sleeping bag and snuggle up with the toddlers. Harry is very committed to his job, going as far as participating in every activity with the toddlers. Including nap time.

 However, Louis had also sent him a text.

 Harry tiptoes after Claire and Sara into the lounge even though his socked feet barely make a sound on the carpet. They leave the door open and keep watch of the playroom through the glass window from the lounge.

 Harry whips his phone out, already knowing what to reply to Louis. The minute he felt it vibrate in his pocket, he had read it and crafted out fifty different replies to impress Louis with, all while supervising toddlers who were trying to scoop porridge with their hands during lunch.

 

**Louis Tomlinson** :

_can’t say there is complete accuracy in your scientific discovery, mate. Maybe take me out of the equation?_

 

How is Harry even suppose to come up with a smart reply to that? He is really being set up to look like a boring idiot.

 “Wipe those lines off your face, Harold, they’ll become permanent wrinkles and those mothers won’t even want to come back anymore,” Sara says while munching on nuts.

 Harry snorts at her, “I don’t need to rely on my face when I’ve got the charm and chats.”

 “Your charm and chats clearly aren’t working,” Claire gestures to the empty text box on Harry’s phone.

 Harry hides it against his chest, “I’m processing.”

 “You’re overthinking.” Sara says, always knowing what’s running through his mind when it comes to boys. Apart from Niall, Sara and Claire are the first few to catch up on any news on Harry’s depressing love life, mostly as a topic to gossip about.

 “I’m not. I need to come up with a witty enough reply to make him think I’m smart and funny.”

 “You _are_ smart,” Claire says.

 Harry gives her a look.

 “Okay, and only sometimes funny.”

 “Reply with a subtle hint that you want to fuck him,” Sara comments, “lemme see what he said.”

 Harry hands her the phone despite her (partially) untrue comment about him wanting to bang Louis. Claire looks over Sara’s shoulder to read through the conversation, both scowling.

 “What?” Harry says as he crosses his arms on the table and rests his head on them.

 “How are you possibly going to go further with this dry conversation? Genes? Science? Are you running experiments?” Sara snorts without looking up from the phone, “you could say you’d like to do further research and take him out on a date to make sure you’re fully accurate.”

 “Maybe you should say how you’d like to combine your genes with his,” Claire suggests, “it’s for science.”

 “You have the best ideas,” Sara high fives her.

 “OR,” Harry interjects, “I could just say he’s genuinely a nice person and I’d love to get to know him?”

 “If you want to be boring knock yourself out,” Sara shrugs, handing the phone back.

 The two continue to share response ideas that Harry thinks are completely ridiculous and inappropriate, so he eventually replies Louis with his own working brain cells.

 

_my scientific discovery concludes that you’re a lovely person and that’s a fact. Even did all the maths._

 

Harry doesn’t bother engaging in the girls’ conversation over their little lunch break, busy checking his phone for any replies from Louis, but it’s already 1pm and his message remains unread.

 Louis could be busy at work, probably having a late lunch, maybe had an earlier lunch, or not at all?

 Maybe he read the message on his screen and chose to ignore it because Harry’s probably that annoying person not worth his time.

 Sighing, Harry slips his phone back into his pocket. A green origami paper lays in front of him and he folds it into a crane with muscle memory, mind drifting to Louis.

 

.

 

 Throughout the day, Harry’s phone burns a hole in his jeans, itching him to check if Louis responds. At the very least, he could still see Louis when he sends the twins off at their house.

 Which, unfortunately, was not the case at all.

 Harry is busy bundling the kids up in their coats to be ready to go home for the weekend when he hears Doris and Ernest yell excitedly, “Lottie!”

 He looks up from where he is knelt down to button up Tommy’s coat, eyes landing on the blonde girl grinning at the twins from outside. Harry was right about who she is then, the eldest among six of Louis’ younger siblings.

 Did she take the bus here by herself? Had Louis not told her about their new arrangement? Where is Louis?

 Lottie pushes the door open and steps inside the lounge where two identical toddlers run towards her.

 “Missed you!” Ernest hugs her left leg while Doris holds onto her right hand, “you came here!”

 “Yes darlings, Lou is busy today so your big sister is here to take you home!” Lottie bends down to pick Ernest up before reaching out for Doris’ hand again.

 Harry walks over and tries to hide the confusion in his face with a pleasant smile, “hi there, I don’t believe we’ve properly met. I’m Harry.”

 Lottie nods at him, “I know who you are. Have to know who’s been taking my brother and sister around in their car, don’t I?”

 “I’m sorry,” Harry says, slightly taken aback by her hostility, “I figured it’ll save Louis some money and time if I drove them instead. No bad intentions.”

 “Not sure about that bit, but since Louis made the decision, I’ll respect it.”

 “I know you don’t trust me for all the right reasons, but I have Doris and Ernest’s best interests at heart.”

 “Why are you even so keen on helping us?”

 “Just doing what I can.” Harry says honestly.

 In reality, he doesn’t even know how to respond to that, because it’s his natural instinct to offer help to anyone who needs it. Especially when Harry has been privileged with being surrounded by supportive people whenever he goes down a bumpy road. He doesn’t know how to explain it to Lottie without causing her to think he pities them, thinks they are a basket case, which is definitely not true at all.

 Hesitation is still written all over Lottie’s face, and Harry gets it. If he were in her position, he wouldn’t trust him either.

 “Well, thank you but you don’t have to, we’re fine and we’ve been fine before you came,” Lottie says, “we’ll be going now.”

 “Please let me drive you back, it won’t take long, it’s safer than taking the bus,” Harry doesn’t even care that he sounds like he’s begging. After entering the neighbourhood they live in and witnessing the state of it, Harry can’t even imagine letting these children get exposed in those streets while he gets to sit in the comfort of his car all the way back to his apartment in the city.

 “The bus is perfectly fine, Harry. I’m a twenty year old adult, i think I can handle public transports.” Harry wonders if all the Tomlinsons have naturally sharp tongues and are stubborn.

 “You said Louis made the decision and you’ll go with it.”

 “Never said anything about following through with it while he’s not here.”

 “Where is he?” Harry asks. Lottie’s face darkens, brows furrowing.

 “His whereabouts are none of your business.” Her tone becomes harsh, defensive. Harry is completely confused and suddenly worried.

 “We’re going now, thank you for the offer but we’ll pass,” Lottie tells him, her voice still firm and slightly shaky, as if her breath is caught in her throat.

 “Is Teacher Harry not coming home with us?” Doris asks innocently, not understanding what they had just been talking about.

 “No my love, we’ll be taking the bus today.”

 Before Harry could get a word in, the three of them are out the door.

 If Lottie thinks Harry isn’t going to go after them they are mistaken. Harry really doesn’t want to be overly persistent to the point where it may scare them away, but Lottie’s expression when he mentioned Louis made him start to worry.

 Harry checks his phone again, just to be sure if Louis has seen his message. He hasn’t.

 Harry sends a quick one instead.

 

_Are you doing okay? x_

 

Surprisingly enough, Louis replies not long after.

 

**Louis Tomlinson:**

_I’m good harry, nothing to worry about :)_

 

Harry worries more anyway. 

 When he gets off work, Loki in the passenger seat already in a deep snooze, Harry sits in the driver seat in silence and puts the key in the ignition. His hand stays there, eyes staring at his fingers gripping the key. A long beat passes and Harry turns the key in a haste, the car roads awake and he drives off.

 His subconscious mind steers his car into the way to Louis’ house. He couldn’t keep his thoughts away from Louis the entire time he was cleaning up, almost forgetting to lock the front doors in the midst of his overthinking. One day his scrambled thoughts will come in handy.

 Now is not the time for all that though, because he has to concentrate on not running into someone on the road.

 As he reaches the first block of the neighbourhood where the Tomlinsons live in, he slowly turns the corner to avoid any sort of unwanted attention.

 It seems too quiet for a Friday night, Harry expects it to be booming with music and beer bottles lining the front steps and pavements, instead house lights are off and the street is almost empty.

 His car glides slowly across the gravel. When he turns another corner, remembering the direction from the previous night, he sees a human figure moving in his peripheral vision.

 At first, it startled Harry, making his car jerk over a bump on the road as he comes to a stop. Loki wakes up from the sudden movement and looks out the window. He sees the figure slink into the shadows casted by some trees in a way that Harry probably wouldn’t have noticed. A low growl rumbles through Loki, then he stills. His tail starts to wag and he lets out small little huffs, ears peeking up.

 “What is it, boy?” Harry breathes, squinting into the darkness to make sure it’s not a serial killer ready to break into his car and stab his neck, or worse, kill his dog.

 Loki continues making little huffs, trying to alert Harry about this figure. Harry’s heart race when the figure moves again, this time away from his car, as if trying to hide.

 Harry is about to ignore this strange figure and carry on with heading to Louis’ house when Loki starts to whine desperately, pawing at the car window.

 Harry is a little curious now, because this is a strange behaviour, Loki only ever acts out when he sees a squirrel or some sort of small rodent he wants to chase, this is definitely not one of those.

 “Stay,” Harry says before stepping out of his car. However, as he is about to shut the door, the furry shepherd dashes out of the vehicle towards the shadows where the figure is now sitting against a tree.

 “Loki!” Harry calls out, heart racing. He slams the car door and rushes over without a second thought, not even caring if he ends up getting killed and no one ever finding his body.

 As Harry gets closer, he hears hush whispering and notices Loki is in front of the person, wagging his tail.

 What he sees makes his heart stop.

 Louis sits against the tree in the clothes he saw him wear this morning. When he hears Harry approaching, his hands fly up to wipe his wet cheeks. His fringe is disheveled from how he had probably ran his fingers through it in distress.

 Wordlessly, Harry quietly goes up to Louis.Under the white moonlight, Harry notices how glassy his eyes are and how Louis still looks beautiful even when they are puffy from crying. He knew something was up the minute he saw Lottie through the glass window at the daycare. He just never expected Louis to be sitting alone a few blocks away from his own house.

 Louis is breathing shakily by the time Harry slides down beside him, both leaning against the tree. Loki lies down and rests his head on Louis’ lap, offering his own comfort.

 “Hey,” Harry breathes softly, bringing his knees to his chest.

 “Hi,” Louis says back, just as quietly, sniffing a little.

 There is a beat of silence where Harry ponders what to say next, but Louis speaks first.

 “Why are you here this late?”

 “Wanted to see if the kids are doing okay. If you’re okay,” Harry murmurs the last part.

 “I’m alright,” Louis wipes his nose with the sleeve of his sweater, “you can leave now.”

 “Louis,” Harry says softly, “tell me what happened.” 

“It doesn’t matter, Harry. Whatever you’re trying to do, you can’t help me.”

 “I can try,” Harry tells him.

 Louis doesn’t say anything else, just stares at a crack on the pavement that runs under his shoes.

 Harry remains silent, afraid of saying the wrong thing. He just waits because Louis looks slightly nervous and Harry knows he has something on his mind.

 “Do you ever- have you ever felt like you try so hard to hold everything together but it’s not enough,” Louis sighs, “and everything just falls apart anyway?”

 “Of course,” Harry nods, “but we have to keep going. Whatever it is that fell apart, we can pick it back up.”

 “But I can’t,” Louis says, voice quiet, “I have no room to hold everything, sometimes I want to let it all tumble out of my arms and not care. Let it all go to chaos.”

 Harry’s eyebrows knot together, it pains him to hear Louis sound so small and helpless.

 “Then I see one of my sisters or Ernie,” Louis continues after a beat of silence, “and how they deserve so much better, to have a normal family, a good education, a safe home, and that’s all I want.”

 Harry doesn’t understand why Louis is carrying all the burden by himself. Where are his parents? Did he drop out of university? Why does he have so many jobs? He doesn’t ask anything though, because he knows it will take time for Louis to open up to him and whatever he’s telling Harry right now is more than enough.

 “I think you’ve done the best you can, and I know every one of your siblings are grateful to have a brother like you.” Harry reaches out for Louis’ hand, testing the waters, but Louis doesn’t pull away as he lets Harry envelope his cold, small hand with his warm one. “Let me help. You can’t carry all the weight by yourself, one day you will break and then it’ll be too late.”

 “That sounds like a good song lyric.”

 Harry snorts, cracking a smile. “Thanks for ruining my emotional speech.”

 Louis starts rolling a pebble under his shoe, “emotional stuff makes me feel weird, enough of that.” He then looks up at Harry, eyes shining blue, “but thank you. I don’t understand why you’re so kind to us.”

 “You deserve to be happy too.” Harry says simply.

 He gets up, offering a hand to Louis. Louis bites his bottom lip as he allows Harry to lift him up and it wakes Loki, who had been asleep from Louis’ gentle petting.

 For a minute, Harry lets the stillness of the night settle between them. He notices the hunch in Louis’ shoulders, the curve of his pink lips as he takes shaky breaths in the cold wind, and the way he is drowning in the oversized sweater the same way he is drowning in his own doubts and responsibilities. Harry is an emotional person and he fights back a tear for whoever or whatever made Louis like this.

 He gently pulls Louis into his chest, wrapping his arms around his shoulders. Louis stills, surprised, but he sinks into Harry’s warmth, lets himself be protected for once instead of being the protector.

 Louis raises his arms and hugs Harry back. He isn’t sure how long they stand there for, maybe minutes or hours. They could be chilled to ice and die from hypothermia, Louis wouldn’t mind.

 Louis pulls back first, and he almost misses when Harry slips something into his pocket at the side of his parka.

 “I’ll see you on Monday?” Harry’s voice is barely above a whisper, but it sounds loud in the silent neighbourhood.

 “Yeah,” Louis breathes back, smiling up at Harry.

 “Okay,” Harry says, smiling back, dimples slicing the skin beside his stretched lips.

 After, when Harry watches Louis walk the two houses down to his own house, when Harry makes sure Louis shuts the door and locks it, when Louis sits at his kitchen table, he pulls out the object that Harry slipped into his pocket earlier.

 A green paper crane, folded neatly and evenly. Louis sets it in front of him and leans his head on his arms. They stare at each other for ages, Louis’ mind branching out from his usual thought process- his siblings, finances, school, his dad…and now they are clouded with Harry.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> University has been taking a toll on me, so i haven't gotten around to writing in a while. Here is the new chapter though, I hope you like it! Thank you for leaving comments, kudos and even clicking on this story, I really appreciate it :)

**_wanna hear a joke_ **

 

_no_

 

**_Knock knock_ **

 

 

Louis fights the urge to smile or pay Harry any more attention when the elevator reaches his client’s room floor.

 

Knock knock jokes would often put Louis off, thinks they’re rather stupid, but something about the way Harry thinks they’re funny is so endearing. Louis tries to calm the fluttering of his heart.

 

For over a month now, Harry has been over to his house every day to pick up the kids. His bentley would roll in at six fifteen sharp, sometimes earlier. Louis would catch him tumble out of the car with his long limbs and lean against the hood to wait, all sleepy eyed and slow movements. Mornings have become Louis’ favourite part of the day.

 

They never talk about what happened on the night when Louis had cried embarrassingly in front of Harry. Harry never brought it up, never presses, and Louis is extremely grateful. He hated himself for being weak, for deciding to let himself crumble that day. He hated himself for feeling exhausted about his life and Harry had to see him like a deranged stray animal out in the streets. Louis had expected Harry to thread around him after that, distant himself from the burdens of Louis and his family. But Harry forced himself to stay around for the basket case, probably taking pity on them and once he thinks he had fixed them, he would leave. They always do.

 

The thing is, Harry eases himself into their lives so seamlessly. Sometimes Louis thinks he isn’t even acting like he cares about them so much, because he might actually do care. Harry is just a genuinely kind person like that. But Louis doesn’t understand why anyone like himself deserves to be cared about.

 

It gets difficult to not fall face first into the pit when Harry is around them all the time. With his gentle eyes, his slow talking, his ability to make every crying child laugh within seconds, his stupid jokes. When he’s not physically within Louis’ vision, he’s in Louis’ mind anyway.

 

The worst part is, Harry sends him jokes everyday.

 

It’s one of those times. Louis had just left for work a couple of minutes after Harry had dropped the kids off at his house.

 

He knocks on the door to room 614 before adjusting his overnight bag on his shoulder. Dread creeps up his throat as bile when he hears heavy footsteps thump against the hotel carpet towards the door. It opens to reveal a tall, skinny middle aged man in a white bathrobe. The skin on his face is dotted with dark freckles, taut and stretched over his skull that makes his hungry eyes protrude out of their sockets. Louis almost feels like he is in a horror film every time he has to work with him. Any fading thoughts of Harry start to disappear.

 

“Sweet cheeks,” is the first thing that comes out of his mouth, scratchy like sand paper, sounding like he’s been starving all day and his dinner has arrived.

 

“Evening, sir,” Louis says quietly.

 

The man’s eyes darkens, Louis darts his eyes to the ground and bites his lip. “Did I ask you to speak? You know the rules.”

 

Louis stays silent, afraid to open his mouth.

 

“Get in, clothes off,” he grabs Louis’ arm and shoves him into the room before the door clicks shut. “iI you make a sound I might have to request for a refund, and you’ll have to go home without your pay, wouldn’t want that do you?”

 

Louis feels like running away, as he always does, but he shakes his head and starts to strip.

 

-

 

“Filthy animal.”

 

Louis ignores the muttered comment as he leaves the room, eager to finally get out of there.

 

A silver of sharp pain zips through his ass and back muscles when he leans back against the door of a telephone booth a block away from the hotel. The November wind is trying to eat away at his fingers, numbing his hands and nose.

 

He rummages through his overnight bag in search of painkillers and downs one pill with a swig of water from his water bottle. The cool water slides down his throat and calms his aching body momentarily.

 

Once the numbness of his fingers subside and he can move them again, he checks his phone. The home screen reads 1:38am and he has 7 new messages; 6 from Harry and 1 from his boss. He ignores the one from his boss and opens Harry’s name.

 

**_Is anyone home?_ **

 

**_I guess not, so I’ll wait at the doorstep_ **

 

**_Maybe that’s too stalker-ish so here’s the joke- Knock Knock. who’s there? Etch. Etch who? Bless you!_ **

 

**_I hope its as funny to you as it is to me (even tho I can see you rolling your eyes from here) and I hope you have a good night Louis :)_ **

 

Louis smiles despite himself, warmth replacing the ache in his muscles even though its most likely the painkillers working through his system.

 

He continues reading the 3 texts that seem to be sent pretty recently.

 

**_Twins left their lunch boxes in my car so I drove to drop it off but you weren’t home_ **

 

**_Fizzy invited me in the house I hope its okay? If it’s not pls don’t b mad at her._ **

 

**_Return home safe, text me when you’re back :)_ **

 

Louis feels his heart start to race at the thought of Harry inside his house. How the sight of the state its in must have scared Harry, how old and clustered everything is. How poor they are. Louis knows Harry will never judge them but it he is embarrassed anyway. He never thought Harry will ever enter their house, has no intention of letting Harry into that part of his life.

 

Louis worries about it the entire walk back home, the muscle aches are back and accompanies him the whole journey.

 

As soon as he locks the front door and flops down onto the couch to catch his breath, Louis freezes.

 

The entire living space is cleared of children toys and books and crayons, the coffee table is where it once was, the hardwood floor swept clean of crumbs, the cushions placed neatly against the couch.

 

Louis is so confused. The girls have never tidied, especially when he had put them and Ernie to bed right before he left the house.

 

He walks into the kitchen with only the street lamps from outside lighting the rooms. A turkey sandwich sits on the middle of the table- which, too, was cleared of empty plates and bowls and are stacked neatly next to the sink. Louis feels his stomach groan at the sight of the sandwich that he almost doesn’t care who made them in the first place. One day he will get killed from poison and live a real life Snow White scene with no prince charming to kiss him awake.

 

He sits down at the table, and his heart immediately fills.

 

A pink paper crane is sitting next to the plate of sandwich. Louis is truly embarrassed now. Not only did Harry see the horrific state of their house and decided to tidy it for them, he went out of his way to make a sandwich for Louis. He could have asked where Louis went, or came inside the house and left immediately. Louis is so confused, more than ever, about why Harry does these things, why Louis out of everyone in the world.

 

He is about to call Harry when the doorbell rings.

 

Louis puts his phone down and goes to answer it but his feet stills when he hears a familiar unwelcoming voice.

 

“You in there, boy?”

 

Fear rips through Louis, his throat closing up. He hasn’t heard that voice in two years, buried all traces of it at the back of his mind. Now they’re crawling back up.

 

“I saw you drag your arse back here, I know you’re in there!” He’s shouting now. Louis has to do something before any of his siblings wake up.

 

With shaking hands, Louis moves silently across the living room to the front door. He doesn’t open it, just leaves his hand on the doorknob.

 

“Why are you here,” Louis says, as bravely as he can.

 

“Did you get my letter?”

 

The envelope. Louis had burnt it in the backyard but the words swim behind his eyelids as soon as it’s mentioned.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well? Are you going to do it?”

 

Louis takes a deep breath, “I can’t do that.”

 

“Let me in at least.”

 

“i can’t do that either.”

 

“Louis,” the voice sighs, “son.”

 

Louis winces, “don’t call me that. I’m not your son.”

 

“Let me in, I promise I’m sober.” Louis doesn’t believe that one bit, his hands remain tight on the doorknob.

 

“I’m not letting you in anywhere near my siblings. Please don’t come back here,”

 

“If you don’t talk to me about this I’ll break this door down and wake the whole neighbourhood.”

 

Louis bites his lips so hard they hurt, his heart is in his throat. With a deep exhale, he opens the door with trembling fingers and tries to compose himself.

 

His father stands outside. His eyes red rimmed with purple bags under them. His hair is unkempt and balding. His shirt is missing a few buttons and his face is flushed down to his neck, a sign that he clearly had too many drinks. Louis resembles nothing like him and it disgusts Louis how he carries his last name.

 

“I missed you, my boy.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

“How are my kiddos?”

 

Louis keeps his voice even and steady even though he feels anger bubble inside him.

 

“They are fine and healthy without you here.”

 

Mark Tomlinson smirks, “I’m sure they’ll be excited to see daddy again.”

 

“Tell me what you want or I’m going back in.”

 

“I’m here for my money, they’re mine and you know it.”

 

“They were hard earned by _my_ mother and her parents, how dare you say that.” Louis is seething, his head starts to throb.

 

“Louis, women are made to work for us men. That woman is made to earn for me and her death is just unfortunate.”

 

Red dots his vision, boiling and burning inside his chest. “Run your fucking mouth and speak about my mother one more time, your new home will be in a prison cell.”

 

“You won’t call the police on your ol’ daddy, because you’re hiding too, aren’t you?” Mark steps closer, the smell of cigarettes and alcohol fill Louis’ nose, “you’re hiding from the social workers, aren’t you Louis? Hiding from the big wolves? Once they realize how unstable you are, how incapable of being a grown up you are, they’re going to take every single one of those rats and separate all of you. You’re scared, aren’t you? Always have been, worthless and irresponsible. I’m glad I walked out, couldn’t stand one more day with a fairy of a son-“

 

He strikes a rough, calloused hand across Louis’ cheek. Louis loses his hearing for a moment from how hard the impact was and he stumbles, slicing his palm on a piece of wood while trying to catch himself.

 

“Pathetic. You better be ready with my money when I come back.” Mark spits before walking away.

 

The neighbours watch on, enjoying the show.

 

Louis is, pathetic. He couldn’t even stand up for his siblings. He knows it would be useless to fight back, but he didn’t even try. What kind of brother was he if he couldn’t even pretend to be brave and try to stand up for his family. He deserves that blow to his cheek for being weak once again.

 

Back inside, Louis ignores the throbbing on the left side of his face and breathes deeply through his nose while he mentally counts to ten to calm himself down. He sits down at the kitchen table, forcing himself to nibble on the turkey sandwich that Harry made. He lets his hand bleed, doesn’t even feel the burn in his palm from how fast his heart his racing. He can’t even think. However much he worked and tried to avoid things like that from happening, it’ll always come back. He stares hard at the pink paper crane and wonders when it will all stop.

 

 

The next morning, Louis pretends to be okay. He sees Harry’s car parked outside through the kitchen window. He had sat there the entire night, couldn’t sleep and afraid to move. Lottie is off to college so Fizzy found him there when she woke up for school, cautious around him and they were all quiet while Louis makes them breakfast and packs their lunches.

 

“Everything okay?” Harry asks softly, as they stand outside next to his car, voice quiet and it calms Louis for a while, but he’s frowning.

 

“Yeah,” Louis replies, void of emotion.

 

Harry’s hand lifts to Louis left side. There must be a pink shade printed there and Louis doesn’t care to hide it. He sees a flash of anger in Harry’s eyes first, then confusion and worry cloud over.

 

“Don’t go to work today,” Harry says as he touches Louis’ cheek, feather soft and soothing. Louis thinks all his cells migrated to the patch of skin where Harry is touching and fixes the pain.

 

“I’m going to work today.” Louis says stubbornly. He wonders if Harry’s lips are magic too.

 

“You didn’t sleep last night,” Harry tells him.

 

“I know, I was there.”

 

That makes Harry crack a smile, so Louis knows he has successfully diverted the attention from the blooming pink hand print on his cheek.

 

“Did you get home okay?” Harry asks.

 

Louis has been doing the same routine for 2 years, safe or not. But he appreciates Harry’s concern. “Yeah. Thank you um, for tidying up and making the sandwich. You obviously didn’t have to.”

 

“And I obviously wanted to.”

 

“The sandwich was disgusting, by the way, almost poisoned me.”

 

“Then I guess you need a prince charming to kiss you awake.”

 

“You have a food poisoning fetish?” Louis’ cheeks hurt even more, this time from how hard he’s smiling.

 

Harry laughs, loudly, but Louis doesn’t particularly mind, “not in front of the kids!”

 

For a brief second, Louis forgets about everything that happened the night before.

 

Harry is about to say something else, but he bites his lip to stop himself and Louis knows he has a billion questions firing in his head and maybe at that moment, where the quiet morning is drawing Louis into a sleepy mood, Louis wants to tell him everything.

 

“I’ll see you, yeah?” Louis tells him instead.

 

Harry smiles at him, a curl falls over his face, “yeah, okay. Have a good day, Lou.”

 

It’s what he says to Louis everyday, but it’s the first time Harry has called him ‘Lou’.

 

He doesn’t even expect it at all, but Harry kisses him.

 

Maybe the tension of physical contact has been lingering around them for far too long, but in Louis’ hazy state of mind, he lets himself feel.

 

He feels Harry’s warm, plush lips touching his, tentatively at first before he starts moving. Shy, almost. It’s far from any kisses Louis’ ever had. He’s had drunk boyfriends kissing him roughly, biting, hurried and messy, always hurting a little bit. He’s never had someone kiss him sober, so tenderly, sweet and sincere.

 

Harry pulls away, but doesn’t straighten up. His curls tickle Louis’ cheeks and Louis’ hand comes to rest on Harry’s hip. They don’t say anything for a while, until Louis remembers the kids.

 

“You’ll be late,” Louis murmurs even though he much prefers to keep Harry.

 

Harry pulls away completely then, watching Louis carefully. He gets into the car not before bushing a kiss against Louis’ left cheek, easing the pain there.

 

“See you tonight, okay?”

 

Harry asks as a way of making sure Louis will be home tonight. Louis nods.

 

He waves them off, promising Harry to at least get a few hours of sleep before his shift. He is just glad nothing has changed between them, or they may have once the kiss happened. Louis doesn’t know what it means. For the first time though, he doesn’t want to overthink it.

 

Louis spends the day thinking about it.

 

He calls Liam half an hour before his shift at the restaurant, restless with how much is going on in his brain. Sleep doesn’t even occur to him when he’s sat at the porch chain smoking the stress away. He should be handed a prize for how long he can go without sleep. That prize should be a beautiful boy with soft curls.

 

“I’m not awake,” is what Liam says, or grumbles, upon picking up the call.

 

“I have a crisis.”

 

“I told you to separate coloured and whites, Lou-“

 

“My dad showed up last night, Liam.”

 

That shuts Liam up on the other end of the line. For a second, Louis thinks he might have stopped breathing.

 

“Are you alright?” Liam asks, softly this time.

 

“Yeah of course, I love when my abusive father visits me. Good times.”

 

“What did he want?”

 

Louis sighs, squeezing his eyes shut to hopefully ease the headache starting to form at his temples. “He sent me a letter a couple weeks ago, asking for money. And I- I burnt it. There was more on there, but I couldn’t sit through reading the whole thing. I felt like everything went back to square one and I don’t know what to do, Li. He’s threatening us, came to my door last night to make sure I give him the money as if I _owe_ him, fuck’s sake. Wanker doesn’t even look any different from the last time I saw him. Still a disgusting slob, how _dare_ he drag his existence near us?” The more Louis starts to recall what his father did, the more the headache exaggerates and the more he wants to rip Mark’s throat out, letting the anger he had been holding in seep out.

 

“What are we going to do then? Did he hurt you? He didn’t touch any of the girls and Ernie, did he?” This is why Liam is Louis’ best friend. Always _we_ , instead of _you_ or _I_ when they’re knee deep in shit. Not that Louis will ever admit that to him.

 

“The kids were asleep, if I let him put his hands on any of them I’ll go to prison for murder. He slapped me real hard though, got an ugly mark on my cheek. How am I gonna get laid now?”

 

“Well, some people are into those-“

 

“Don’t finish finish that sentence.’

 

“i’m just saying. Listen, I know you’re going to act like you can handle shit by yourself-“

 

“I can and have succeeded,” Louis interjects.

 

Liam ignores him, “-but I won’t let you go through this alone, Louis. You know that. It’s too dangerous and we both know it. You got away from him, coped with so many loses, made a new life for yourself and for the kids, and I was there with you the whole way. I’m not stepping out now.”

 

Louis knows he’s right. Liam has always been right beside Louis sorting through the mess with him. From when they were seven and Louis’ parents were fighting, Liam stayed with Louis in Liam’s treehouse while Louis tried to figure out if they still loved each other. When the girls were born and Louis’ father went out drinking while his mom worked two jobs, Liam was there to help around at home. When Louis had been cheated on by the first boy he had ever loved, Liam was there to down the entire liquor cabinet down his throat and tuck him into bed. When Louis’ mother passed, Liam was there through all of it. Liam was there when Louis and his siblings escaped, Liam _is_ here to hold their family together.

 

Despite hating to admit it, Louis can’t always handle everything by himself, no matter how much he tries to add more weight onto his shoulders, to prove to himself. He also knows Liam will squeeze himself into the mess somehow even if Louis shuts him out.

 

“I met someone, Liam.” Louis tells him. Has to.

 

“You met someone?” Liam’s tone is tilting to a hint of concern.

 

“He’s lovely.”

 

“Lou-“

 

“And he’s so kind. Doris and Ernie absolutely adore him-“

 

“You let him meet the kids??”

 

“Well, he works at the daycare. I don’t think he can’t charm any child, or whoever he meets, actually.And yesterday while I was at work, he came over and cleaned the whole house and made me a turkey sandwich-“

 

“You let him in your house??”

 

“Jesus, Payno, pipe down lad. He’s not a psychopath.”

 

“I don’t know if you’re just being stupid or you’re completely whipped for whoever this boy is to even let him near the kids and enter your house. I had to wait two business weeks in advance to even make an appointment to visit you.”

 

“Not sure what you’re talking about mate. But all I’m saying is that I don’t know why the universe is trying to test me by dragging my father back from hell the minute I decide to let a gorgeous green eyed boy make himself comfortable in my head.”

 

It’s not the first time that Louis has let a gorgeous green eyed boy pitch a tent inside his head though, which one can tell from Liam’s heavy sigh. “That is exactly when there should be red signs, lou.”

 

“You think I don’t know that?” Louis tries, he starts to remember Harry kissing him, how it’s soft and pleasant and Louis doesn’t know if his opinions would change in a different circumstance, one where he is not desperate for some sort of sign that he isn’t cursed with bad luck for all his life.

 

Liam hangs up after making Louis promise to update him. Louis feels a little lighter after speaking to Liam, which is almost a privilege these days.

 

In all his experiences with unfortunate situations, Louis has learnt to suck it up and move on. He has had his short amount of time dwellingabout it, and he has a shift in two hours; money to make and mouths to feed.

 

Louis is only two minutes late to work and barely dodges his boss yelling at him. _Some people are waiting to replace you, Tomlinson_ , he threatened. Louis tries his best to stay awake. Even Zayn, his co-worker, offers sympathetic glances every time Louis messes up an order and gives up one of his breaks for Louis, with a _you really need it_ and an encouraging pat on his shoulder.

 

By the time Louis reaches his neighbourhood at two in the morning, the souls of his feet are burning and his back aches, refusing to believe they are signs of old age. Twenty six isn’t that ugly.

 

The exhaustion that he’s been trying to keep at bay is now threatening to make him collapse at any moment, weighing heavily.

 

About two houses away, Louis’ mind takes a second to catch up with his feet as they physically halt to a stop. The lights in his living room are turned on, which never is at this time of the night unless Louis is in there or Lottie up studying. But she is away in college and Fizzy is at her boyfriend’s place. They always remind each other to leave the lights off when not in use to save electricity bills. Louis can’t think of any other reason why they should be on except one.

 

He picks up his pace, head swimming with fear and anger at the thought of his father inside the house. His fingers are already twitching.

 

Louis is expecting to open the door to broken furniture, he’s expecting to see a bundle of crying children huddled in the corner, he’s expecting to be dragged into the house and receive punches. His muscles are coiled to attack if it turns out to be his father standing behind that door, but he forces to steady his breaths. What he doesn’t expect, is what he actually sees.

 

Under the dim fluorescent light, Louis makes out Harry’s sleeping form on the couch. He is laying back against it, a sign that he has been sitting there for a while and fell asleep like that, and a pink crayon is dangling from his fingers, threading to fall. Louis notices a patch of glitter glue dotting his left cheekbone under his eyelashes. He looks effortlessly beautiful, with his slightly parted plush lips and the way he looks so peaceful in his sleep.

 

Louis’ heart clenches at the sight and it makes him more sleepy with the urge to tuck Harry into his bed and curl up next to him.

 

He silently pads around the living room picking up stray colouring pages and crayons, stacking them neatly on the coffee table.

 

“Louis?”

 

Louis looks up at the voice. Harry rubs at his eyes as he sits up right, his oversized brown sweater dips at his collarbones to reveal milky skin.

 

Harry watches Louis cross the room to him with droopy eyes and a warm smile. “Sorry I fell asleep,” he says, the deep rumble of his voice spreads through Louis, sending a dull ache in his chest.

 

“Nothing to apologize for,” Louis sits down next to him, and Harry immediately lays his head on Louis’ shoulder, “have you been waiting up for me?”

 

“Not the whole time. I tucked the kids into bed and fell asleep trying to clean up,” Harry mumbles as Louis tries to concentrate on what he’s saying instead of the scent of his hair tickling his nose.

 

They stay together in silence for a while, both contented with each other’s company and the exhaustion from the day kicking into their bones. Before Louis’ eyes droop close and actually slips into a coma though, Harry says quietly, “I should get going,” but he doesn’t make an attempt to move.

 

“Stay,” Louis tells him gently. If he’s not two seconds away from stage 4 of sleep, he would know its a bad idea. But Harry is here and Louis wants to cuddle him until he sweats.

 

Harry, however, lifts his head from Louis’ shoulder and searches Louis’ face, hopeful, “are you sure?”

 

Louis thinks Harry has already crossed the boundaries when he stepped into their house and made him a sandwich and tidied around like one would in a domestic relationship. It scares him.

 

Louis just shrugs, “you’ll just have to make breakfast in the morning then.”

 

That earns him a smile, dimples on display. “How does eggy french toast sound?”

 

“Sold from the word eggy.”

 

They head upstairs to Louis’ room and he gives Harry a change of clothes while he takes a quick shower, pulling one off quickly to avoid getting a boner with Harry sleeping next to him.

 

When Louis emerges from the shower with damp hair and minty breath, he spots Harry nodding off in his bed, leaning back against the headboard. He blinks open his eyes slowly when he hears Louis entering, peeling back the blanket for Louis to crawl in next to him. Louis isn’t sure if he’s allowed touch, so he sticks to the right side of the bed.

 

Harry reaches out for him though, fingers curling around Louis’ wrist, tugging him to indicate that he wants to cuddle. Lucky for him, Louis is the biggest fan of cuddles. From years of experience of taking care of his siblings, Louis has learnt that cuddling can dissolve tears and cure fevers.

 

He wiggles until Harry can throw his arm around his hips, tucking himself under Harry’s chin. Harry strokes his hand along Louis’ back and noses at Louis’ hair.

 

“Stop smelling me like a dog,” Louis tells Harry but leans into him anyway.

 

“You smell good,” Harry says simply as if it’s a fact, his fingers now carding through Louis’ hair. Louis wonders how this can feel so normal, how Harry slots himself so easily into Louis’ life in a way that cuddling in bed for the first time is so mundane, like it’s their daily routine.

 

Louis thinks he could fall right asleep from the gentle tugging at his hair, no one’s ever made him this contented in bed before, been this soft and tender without needing to be sexual.

 

Louis moves his head away from Harry’s neck to look up at him, wants to tell him. Harry is already looking at him with gentle green eyes. He reaches up and thumbs at the little purple bag under Louis’ left eye, then strokes the fading mark on his cheek with feather soft touches, his own eyes turning sad. “I’m sorry for whatever’s been keeping you up at night.” Louis knows _whoever did this to you_ goes unsaid.

 

“Just bad dreams, no one can can help it.” Louis lies easily.

 

He knows Harry doesn’t believe him as he shifts onto his side, leaning over Louis. Louis’ skin prickles a little, body conditioned to feel intimidated by someone looming over him like this. But this is Harry.

 

Harry tilts his head so his lips seal with Louis’, desperately sweet. Louis stiffens at the contact at first, but melts into Harry easily, kissing him back. Harry makes a soft sound at the back of his throat when Louis gets bolder, parting his lips to kiss Harry proper.

Harry is completely on top of him now, both breathing heavily and starting to sweat a little. Louis has to stop this before any of them regret it.

 

He pulls away, eyes fluttering open. Harry blinks heavily above him, lips red and obscene.

 

“You’re beautiful,” he tells Louis breathlessly.

 

Louis just smiles at him, because he’s heard that so many times from so many men that don’t mean the words they say. “Agree to disagree,” he says.

 

Harry frowns and is about to protest but Louis leans forward to kiss him long and sweet to distract him. It lasts faster than the previous, so Louis pecks him one more time before rolling over and wiggles back so Harry’s chest is flushed against him, lacing their fingers together.

 

“Night Harry”

 

He hears Harry sigh behind him, nuzzling at the spot below Louis’ ear, “sweet dreams Lou.”

 

Louis waits until he hears Harry’s breathing evens out to start panicking.


End file.
